Friday, December 30, 2011

It's Amazing How Quickly Things Change;

Just last night, I was in a terrible mood. I hated my life, or lack thereof. I woke up today with a completely different mood. I felt like I could do just about anything. It didn't make any sense to me. How could I have gone from being in such a terrible mood, to being a COMPLETELY different person the very next day?

Suddenly it all made sense, and this is a list of reasons why.

Today, something changed. I've never been too great at managing my money, but today, not only did I have enough money to do everything I needed to, I also had money left over. That usually never happens, because I usually just buy random crap because I have the ability to. Not this time. I really think not buying myself cigarettes has something to do with it. That's another thing. It's fairly hard for me to not think about smoking during the day. Lately, I haven't thought about it much at all. Except for last night. But oh well.

I really think things are changing for the better. I've also come to terms with the fact that I'm spending the majority of my time alone. My self esteem has gotten better in the last few months, now I'm rarely wearing makeup, or taking 19384393 different pictures, and saving one. I've gotten myself to take a total of maybe 10 pictures a day, or less. Today, I took 2 the whole time I was out, then took 3 when I got home.

Another thing that's been hard for me to figure out in the past: People walk away. It's bound to happen. I can't hold onto them forever, no matter how hard I try.. UNLESS they're real friends. I have a few of those, that I know if I really needed them, they'd be there in a flash. Whether it be a phone call, or a text message, or a "You want me to kill them for you?" conversation, they're there for me. What more do I need in life?

There it is folks. My positive thinking has begun once again.

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