I've been out of it for two days straight. I honestly couldn't answer a single question without lagging. Sad to say that that is a sure sign of me getting sick. The sicker I get, the dumber I get as well.
Ask anyone. I'm sure someone will verify that. It doesn't make any sense really. Sickness doesn't provide stupidity in their package. On top of all of this, I've been so stressed out lately that I've had a twitch in my left eye for about a week now. And it just keeps going. I don't have the ability to control it either.
Just kinda makes me wonder, what am I stressed about? I mean, there's not really a whole lot going on for me right now, other than the fight I had with Sam and Eric. But I'm over that. Their loss. Not mine. I know I'm not stressed about that because I've already made the decision to cut them out of my life as soon as possible.
I'm not doing that because they did something wrong, I'm doing it because I just can't handle aspects of their personality, big ones. I have no choice. If I want to continue my life, I need to stop letting people bring me down. It's not fair to anyone in the situation to just drag things out if they wouldn't work anyway.
I honestly think that was a door closing behind me. I usually don't write people off entirely just like that. Normally, I'm the one dragging things out because I've always hated people leaving me. Lately though, I've realized one major thing. I'm an adult. How would an adult handle this? So here I am.
I believe this is what brought me to the decision to plan out the next year of my life. If I can conquer my fear of being alone, which, finally, I have, is there anything I can't do? I fucking doubt it. <3