Wednesday, April 4, 2012
There's No Point In Living If You Can't Feel Alive;
I can't even begin to explain how terrible my week has been. From about Saturday, continuing through today, I've been nothing but a stress ball. Today, has been extremely awful. With finding out I may be losing my job, and the fact that I've been in serious pain for a good 3 days now, and getting into a really bad fight with my best friend, who was the big motivator for the move to Lynnwood, I definitely hit breaking point. I had to ask Mir to take me away from everything because if I didn't escape I was probably going to make a huge mistake. One I couldn't exactly come back from. The thought scared the living shit out of me. It was bad enough that I even stopped, and contemplated all of the reasons why I should do it, and the benefits that people would get out of my being gone. I ended up bursting into tears in Mir's car. I haven't cried like that in front of anyone in months. I'm not okay with how I feel right now, and I don't know how long it will last. All I know is that I'm gonna be up all night, decorating my room, and making my resume. I have to keep going. It's only going to get harder from here. I have to get past this to get to my future. I refuse to back down. Even a little.